What is your message to someone who is thinking about suicide?
It makes sense that you are hurting so deeply given everything that you have been through. Thoughts of suicide deserve to be acknowledged and cared for. I want to recognize just how much you are struggling, with the hope that it helps you feel less isolated and makes it less hard for you to talk about. What you are dealing with is really hard and heavy, but you do not have to navigate these feelings and thoughts alone, nor do you have to try to solve it all today. Sometimes when things are really, really hard, all we can think about is getting through the next second, the next minute, the next hour, and so forth and that is totally okay. You deserve support. Please reach out.
What would you tell someone who is feeling unsure about seeking support?
The fear and hesitation you feel about reaching out for support is completely valid. It can be scary and feel vulnerable to share just how we are struggling. Yet, keeping it all inside can make us feel more isolated, overwhelmed, and alone. Too often we can convince ourselves that no one understands and that the pain we are feeling is too much to bear. The truth is that acknowledgment can help things hurt less. Although it might not be easy to open up to someone, you deserve support. There are people on campus who are here to support you. They can help you work through what’s hurting you and offer strategies and tools that can help you cope – so that things can start to get a little bit better, one day at a time.
Why does suicide prevention matter to you?
Suicide prevention matters to me for many reasons. As someone who works in campus sexual violence prevention, I know communities often fail to recognize the harm of sexual violence. When this happens, survivors of sexual violence are more likely to blame themselves and are less likely to seek support. Feeling isolated, ashamed, and blamed may lead survivors to thoughts of suicide. To me, this means that we need to do more to prevent sexual violence, to avoid victim blaming, and to more effectively support victims/survivors. I truly need survivors to know that what happened is not their fault and that there are people on campus who can help them feel less alone.
How do you cope when things get tough?
I know what it is like to feel overwhelmed – to struggle with deadlines, expectations, disappointments, and loss. Committing to making the time to care for myself has been powerful for me. Listening to music, walking, yoga, and connecting with people I love are my favourite coping strategies. During periods of increased stress, I try to be more intentional about caring for my immediate needs – a snack, a nap, a break – this has really increased my ability to cope with stress.
What gives you hope?
All the efforts and public conversations occurring within and beyond campus about mental health give me hope. We cannot change what we do not acknowledge. It is wonderful to see us working together to create a campus that supports students who are struggling and that is working against the social dynamics that keep struggles with mental health stigmatized.